My head really hurts today from some mental exertions and unintentional mobilisation efforts I impulsively started (trying to convince my friends to move from WApp to Signal). I regret some parts with great fervour. Even though I was prepared for the pushback, it still felt horrible and like I was going to die. I’m not being dramatic, it’s merely an expression: I absolutely was not going to die and I knew it then as I know it now. But it felt that way.

All the shoulds have arrived of course. Should have used better words. Should have been more diplomatic. Should have spent more time preparing them. Should not have sounded like a dictator which is another version of should have been diplomatic and open and curious – but I’m going to give it its own word count because why not be extra mean to myself when it’s so fun! (It’s not.)

Anyway the point of my very long intro is: I had a really shitty day yesterday.

I’m writing because I want to highlight this one part of the day where I let the car from Somewhere Rd cut in front of me (– grammar, whatever, I hope that’s clear) and I got a nice little wave in return as he joined the looooong line heading south.

Before I left the house, I received a very grounding voice note from a friend. She basically told me to breathe and how slowly I should do it and it was just so kind and I really believe it’s the reason I found some kindness or common humanity in me, in spite of my very shitty day, to let that one car go before me.

The wave of thanks really meant everything to me. I needed a reminder that imperfect as I am in how I do things, I’m really not a bad person.