My parenting pendulum sounds like this:
Too much. Not enough. Too much. Not enough.
I crave for goldilocks steady state. It feels like such a foolish thing to want.
When our children are not who we expect them to be
I learnt the need to be open to his contradictions and complexity, to stop boxing him in with labels that only served my own psyche.
— Sarah Napthali, Buddhism for Mothers
Resisting the urge to go down the perimenopause research rabbit hole aka trap to some sort of wellness whatever that I need to do to stay young forever and ever. No thanks no thanks no thanks. (Permanently covering ears and going lalalalalalala.)
Started this one a long time ago. Wasn’t sure how to proceed. Looked at it today and added very little! Funny how that works.
Check the footnotes!
Catching up with a friend today and all I can think of is what am I going to say to him?
To this question, I notice themes of life is boring, nothing much, raising kids, catching up with chores in between, and the inevitable conclusion: it’s all consuming1 and because I’m not good enough2 I have nothing else to add.
Now that’s out of the way, I can relax and enjoy the morning!
Currently reading: The Atomic Bazaar by William Langewiesche 📚
(Three books in two weeks! All from the library! I’m very chuffed!)
Finished reading: Pilgrim’s Wilderness by Tom Kizzia 📚
So many themes, characters, stories within the story that I can’t quite figure out what to make of the book. Certainly took me to Alaska and illustrated small town dynamics very well!
Hit that publish key already or maybe not.
I have this hang up where I don’t post about my thinking because I’m scared to come across as righteous or that I know things in a definite + certain way. I’m unsure if this is a net positive? I’m (sort of) okay with it but it definitely limits output. Which I’m also (sort of) okay with.
Finished reading: The Adversary by Emmanuel Carrère 📚
Translated from French but still masterful — obviously well written. I can only imagine how the original reads. The subject disgusts me and yet I could not look away. Fantastic and disturbing.